5 years....

My thoughts are all jumbly so this might spill out a mess, but I hope the message comes across anyway. I love and miss my adorable, wonderful, beautiful, sweet, angel sister.

5 years ago today I got a phone call from my mom telling me that my sister had been in a car accident. She was on the way to the hospital. She would call me when she knew more. The next phone call I got was from my husband. He didn't know much either, and was also on his way to the hospital. I was stuck where I lived 40 minutes away from everything that was going on. I had two little girls and one on the way...barely. It was 3 days away from my second baby's first birthday.

I was going nuts wondering how she was, if she was hurt...

Then Dell called again. He asked me if I was sitting down. I told him I was and not to tell me any bad news. He said "She's gone". I completely lost it. I don't remember much but I somehow got all of us ready, bags packed and even got church clothes for a funeral, because I knew I wouldn't be back any time soon. We ended up never living there again.

I dropped my 4 year old and nursing baby off at my brother-in-law's house. Baby got weaned that day. I don't know how it was for her or them, and I'm sorry I just left her there like that, but I could think of nothing else to do. Dell met me there. We then had the job of picking up my then 11 year old brother from 5th grade, but wasn't supposed to tell him what had happened. That was so hard! When we finally got to the hospital I broke down again. When my brother was told is one of the worst memories I have. It was so sad, he loved her so much!

The next few days are a blur. I do know we had a birthday party of sorts for Mychigan on the day of the viewing, which was her birthday. We have pictures, and I'm grateful she was only 1 and can't remember. I can.

5 years ago today I lost my best friend and one and only sister. I miss her so much.

She was the best sister anyone could ask for. We were different as night and day, but best friends in spite of it. She had a wild streak, and wouldn't let anyone push her around. I was quiet. She wasn't afraid to sneak out of the house or get in trouble. I didn't like trouble. We fought, we laughed, we played barbies together, we wrestled, we did everything together. She cried when I got married, and I cried when she did. She loved my first little girl, her first niece, and then her second. I loved my nephew, her step-son. She was a riot to be around, and had a great sense of humor. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could, but didn't get to as much as I wanted.

We camped together from a very young age

We vacationed together (with mom of course)

She loved my baby girl, and brother and mom and me (and pretty much everyone)

Kissing on mom

She loved her hubby (most of the time) She was goofy.
And lovable

She loved her son, she never called him "step"
And her baby niece
She had an attitude



She was so beautiful

She is one of the most beautiful people I have ever or will ever know and the world is a darker place without her here. She was loved by all, and is missed by many.

I love you so much my sweet Stacie Mae! I miss you!

Stacie Mae Gray
February 21, 1979 ~ March 13, 2003